I've never played in my life but living in the West Indies for 20 odd years you learn a thing or two about cricket and you are surrounded by it.

We used to run football tournaments for children and always tried to get a sportsman to come and do the awards ceremony to offer some words of inspiration, usually a cricketer. We taught a few of the West Indies greats children to play so were often able to ask one of them to come along to the awards ceremeony for us.

I remember the kids looking up to these guy's like God's and being in awe of them and it was really exciting for everyone involved. But one day something different happened and it always stuck with me. You see famous sportsman at the top of their craft and they look fearless and able to do anything. This particular cricketer who is a legend of the game and had faced the best batsman to ever play, has done hundreds of interviews on tv looking composed, when he came on stage to talk to a couple of hundred children he crumbled. He couldn't find the words to speak with them. You'd think it would be easy for him with his experience, we were used to talking to large groups of children everyday so it was normal for us, but it wasn't for him. In that moment I realised we all have fears, it doesn't matter how great we are or what we achieve in life, we are all human and things can effect us. He managed to mutter a few words before handing the mic back over to me. It was quite humbling for me to see someone like that have those fears and know we are all fallable in some way.

That story doesn't have much relevance to this blog other than it was a story about cricket and fear that stuck with me and came back to me as I was writing this blog and remind myself we all face fear in life.

The Actual Blog.....

I went for a walk yesterday around the nature reserve when the familiar sensations started creeping in.

Even before the walk began, my body was already warming up for it. In the car on the way, my stomach started to tense and that unmistakable wave of panic began to rise.

Not long ago, that would have been game over.

Once panic kicked in, I would unravel completely, barely able to talk or function, spending the entire walk convinced I was dying. My body would take over and I would be trapped inside it, counting the minutes until I could escape.

Yesterday was different.

Letting the Wave Pass

As the panic rose in the car, I didn’t try to push it away. I let the wave wash over me. I reminded myself how I usually feel once I get out of the car and how my body settles just enough for me to engage in life again.I focused on that knowing. I reminded myself I would be able to focus outwards, not inwards.

To a degree, it worked. I felt okay-ish.

But then, once I started walking, the sensations started popping up.

• The bouts of random dizziness.

• The wobbly feeling in my legs.

• That lingering sense that something bad is about to happen.

• Brain fog.

• A deep, unexplainable discomfort.

• A strange unsteady feeling that suddenly makes you aware of every single step you take.

If you have dealt with anxiety for any length of time, you will know this moment.

The point where your body says “something’s happening” and your mind is seconds away from spiralling into “what if?” or “why is this happening again?”

That is when the internal battle usually begins.

The Internal Battle

Checking how dizzy I feel. Am I really dizzy or just a little dizzy? Am I going to pass out?

Monitoring my legs and trying to walk “normally” while it feels like the ground is buckling beneath me.

Wondering how far I am from home. Who is nearby? Will anyone find me if something happens? Am I going to make it? Do I need to call an ambulance?

Obsessing over my breathing. Shallow, stuck, tight. Like my breath is caught in my throat and I am choking on it.

This is the constant loop where fear feeds itself.

But this time, something different happened.

Playing Cricket With Anxiety

Instead of fearing the sensations, bracing myself, or trying to make them stop, which usually makes them worse, I imagined I was playing cricket with them.

As the sensations hit, I pictured myself standing at the crease, bat in hand. Balls coming at me.
Each sensation was just another delivery I had to face.

I wasn’t running off the pitch.
I wasn’t trying to stop the game.
I was staying right where I was.

What “Batting Them Away” Actually Looked Like

This wasn’t about pretending the sensations weren’t there.

They were very much there!!!!! and I would be lying if I said there was no fear at all.

But instead of reacting with full on panic, I met them with a different attitude.

Dizziness. I can deal with that ball. Whack.

Wobbly legs. Faced that one before. Whack it for six.

Shakiness. Come on, that one is easy to hit. Smash.

Chest pain. That one came a bit fast. Caught an edge and sent it behind for four.

Shallow breathing. Calm and steady. Smack.

Each sensation came and went.

Between the deliveries, there were moments where I felt okay, almost normal.

The balls kept coming.
There were moments of hesitation.
That sudden bolt of fear where I thought this might be the one that gets me.

But I stayed there.
I defended my wicket.
I kept batting.

The Shift That Changed Everything

The sensations didn’t instantly disappear but I felt something shifted as if they lost their grip a bit.

They stopped feeling like death threats and started feeling more like background noise. Instead of a blaring alarm in my head, it was more like a neighbour’s alarm going off in the distance. Still there, but no longer demanding my attention.

That small shift allowed my focus to move away from my body and back into the moment.

Talking with my sister.
Taking in the nature around me.
Chatting to an old couple with binoculars, birdwatching.

And the more calmly I stayed at the crease, the less intense the balls became.

Why I Think This Worked

Anxiety feeds on resistance.

The more I fight sensations and fear them, the more important and dangerous they feel. The nervous system reads panic as proof that something is wrong and works harder to protect me.

But when I respond with calm, curiosity, or even playfulness, something powerful happens.

My body learns there is no real danger here. It is just nervous energy moving through me.

By turning anxiety into a game instead of a crisis, I stopped signalling threat to my nervous system.

And instead of facing fast, aggressive bouncers, I found myself dealing with slower balls I could bat away again and again.

Some Balls Still Get Through

There were moments where a sensation felt stronger and I missed a ball.

Moments where the dizziness spiked and my attention snapped back inward.
Times when the light flickering through the trees blurred my vision or my balance felt off.

But they didn’t scare me the way they used to.I noticed them.I accepted they were there.
And I carried on walking.

Even in cricket, you swing and miss sometimes. You get caught out. You just go again in the next innings.

That is probably as far as my cricket analogy goes. I never even played the game. But it was a good enough tool to get me through the walk feeling calmer and less panicked.

Find Your Own Game

If you are struggling with anxiety sensations right now, you do not have to use cricket to bat the sensations away.

You could imagine yourself in the ring boxing the sensations away or a surfer riding the waves as the roll in.

Find something fun that works for you and takes the power away from the sensations.

One of the thing's I have done before was pretend to take my sensations for a walk like I was taking a dog for a walk.The dog could pull on the lead, chase after a squirrel and you just have to keep telling him he's a good boy.

Whatever you do just try to make light of the sensations and take away their power. Showing your body it is safe by responding with something playful instead of fearful.

The Real Shift

What matters is the shift.

Stop fighting sensations and trying to escape and start allowing them instead.
Move from panic to presence.

I am learning you do not need to beat anxiety and you can't control it and you dont need to understand and analyse every sensation. Just accept it and allow it t do what it's going to do.

Today, when anxiety showed up again, I felt the familiar urge to escape and ask why.Then I remembered I could pick up my bat and start playing again.

Not trying to win the game.
Not trying to end the game.
Just scoring a few runs, picing up singles and building an innings.

And after a while, the anxiety loosened its grip.
I came back into the moment.
And slowly, things are starting to change and I was close to hitting a century.

England may have lost the Ashes but I'm winning the game of Anxiety!

Because the only way out is through. One delivery, one sensation at a time.