Shit scared but winning! It’s taken 2 weeks for me to get over the last drive and gym visit and build the courage to try again.

2 of the worst panic attacks I’ve had, have been in the gym and driving. So combining both activities is a major mission for me currently.

I spent the drive on the way to the gym shaking this morning, telling myself I’m ok. My stomach in knots and my arms trembling. By the time I got to the gym, I wasn’t really in a state to work out. My sole focus was bringing my body back into equilibrium for the drive home.

I did 5 minutes walking on the treadmill and 5 mins of some very light weights, 5 mins of just sitting and being. If that’s helping me get my independence back and living life again I’ll take it.

My theory is the more I do it. The more my mind and body will learn they are safe again.

The challenge with a gym visit at the moment is that my body can take a good few hours to stop shaking afterwards. This becomes a mental battle of trying to tell myself im ok and it’s my body’s way of protecting itself. The 2 don’t seem to marry up.

@puregymnewcastlelongbenton have been kind enough to give me a 6 month free membership to try and get myself going again and help me through it. So far it’s been 3 months and I’ve been about 5 times. For someone who used to workout everyday it’s been tough. But I’ll get there. One step at a time!

Ps thank you again to everyone who has donated so far and all the kind words of support from everyone. https://gofund.me/3f0c9b240